Quicksand Read online

  My lips touch her collarbone gently, contrasting what I’m about to do next. I let the pads of my fingers trail up her thighs, my kisses becoming more urgent, turning to biting and sucking then I move my fingers through her drenched pussy lips and I lose myself in how slick she is. It’s driving me wild. I press my thumb against her clit and I swear she almost comes undone right there.

  She’s panting and grinding against my hand so I withdraw it and look into her eyes.

  I growl out, “No baby, that orgasm is mine and you can have it only when I give it to you.”

  ~Elli~

  His words force my brain to short out and all I can focus on is how bad I want to feel him. I know he’s big, he’s been pressed up against me this whole time and the longer he goes teasing me, the more I want him. It even goes beyond wanting something. I have never known what it’s like so completely needing to be filled. I want him to be rough, the way he is holding my hands pinned above my head is so hot I’m practically on fire. I’m breathing so hard like I’ve been sprinting for the past hour. One of his hands is holding both of my wrists captive above my head and it’s difficult not to struggle against him. The more I struggle, the closer I get to claiming ecstasy. All I want is for him to fill me and to be honest, those thoughts thrill me, and scare me to death. I’ve never wanted anyone like I want Raid. I know if we take this to where we both want to, there won’t be a way back. We won’t be two strangers thrown together by email, by similarities that weave back and forth between us. We’ll know everything. No going back.

  Do I want this?

  Am I ready?

  When I look up and into his eyes, I know with every single cell in my body that I do. I want Raiden Michaels. He has a power over me that crashes into me with enough force to knock me silly. I never want to lose this.

  He catches me staring and smirks, bending his head to softly graze his lips against mine. A contrast to how hard our bodies are against each other. When he pulls back, I can see the passion blazing in his eyes, mirroring my own.

  “Raid, please,” I whine. I can’t help it. It’s like I’m under a sex spell where the only thing I can think about is feeling him inside me.

  He growls, a sound that shoots straight to my core and I practically come right there. I slam my eyes shut, the pleasure from just his noises almost breaking me apart. He lets go of my wrists but I leave them up there, loving how it felt when he held them. His weight is lifted off me so I open my eyes, already getting upset that I can’t feel his body against mine. He leans back on his heels and tears off his shirt, my eyes moving to take in every inch of his tan tattooed skin.

  I lick my lips, wanting to trail my tongue down each and every ridge of muscle. He watches me watching him and stands up. I know he’s teasing me, dragging out this dance between us until I scream, and oh, I am so close to screaming. I’ve come so close, I crave release like a junkie. He hooks his thumbs in his shorts and then they’re on the ground. I almost choke on my tongue and start coughing, my eyes as big as the moon.

  “Raid…that isn’t going to fit.” I motion to his rock hard cock, jutting out in all its glory.

  He chuckles, deep and low in his throat. “Baby, it’ll fit. But getting it there is half the fun, isn’t it?”

  He slinks down to bed again, smoothing his hands up my hot flesh, making me moan and squirm.

  “Stop moving or you won’t be getting anything” he grinds out, his erection bobbing between us hitting my inner thigh.

  “God, Raid you’re killing me.” I breathe out, wanting to close my eyes in frustration but knowing I shouldn’t miss a second of his slow assault up my body.

  He plants a kiss on my hipbone, tongue snaking out to leave a white-hot mark on my skin.

  I moan, “Raiden!”

  When he laughs against my body I can feel it in my sex and in my soul. What felt like years of him making his way up my body suddenly came to a halt and he was right there, giving me those blue eyes and making me come undone just with a look. He brings his hand up to my neck and traces a pattern with his thumb.

  “Elli, I need you to be certain about this.” He looks fearful, that this might ruin us when we haven’t really begun.

  I bring a hand down and smooth it across his cheek, his stubble sending sparks through my palm.

  “This...” I start. “Us, you and me right here, right now…I’m not afraid… I’m not hurting anymore. I feel alive.” I look right into his eyes and will him to understand me. “Raid, I want you more than anything. I’ve never wanted someone so much in my whole life.”

  His eyes get big as he takes my words in.

  I just lay there, this big handsome caring man, on top of me and see realization and resolve come over him. I don’t have to be a wounded woman anymore. I can be whomever I want. And I want to be his. My heart beats so hard I feel that people on the space station can hear it.

  Before I have a chance to worry if my words were too much too soon for him, he growls and crashes his lips against mine. All the heat and all the passion rolling over us like a thunderstorm. He rolls us so I’m straddling him, finally able to rub my clit against him, my wetness ratcheting up the intensity tenfold. I am already so close to falling over the edge, so close, but he grabs my hips and stops me right before I take it. I let out a scream in frustration, which only proves to make him laugh.

  “Raid.” Now it’s my turn to growl. “Why. Are you. Doing. This. To. Me,” I grind out, two years of pent of sexual need lacing my words.

  “I stopped you because I want to be inside you when I come baby, not when you’re grinding against me.”

  My mouth pops open into a surprised O and I blush. I didn’t realize he was nearly as affected as me. I’m still letting that sink in when he expertly delves a hand between us rubbing my clit and sending me off into oblivion.

  “Oh God, Raid!” I cry out, my body pulsing, grinding as much as I can against his cock, panting, swearing, and needing more.

  “Good girl, now it’s my turn.” Raid flips me over and dives for his shorts on the ground, coming back with a condom and tearing it open. I watch with hazy lust filled eyes as he rolls it down the length of his cock and my mouth is watering just looking at it. He comes back to me and positions himself at my entrance, searching my eyes out for permission.

  The second his tip glides against my folds, I fist the sheets at my sides. “Yesssssss.”

  Without any more hesitation, he presses into me, and I thought I was prepared but he is so big. I feel him stretching my tight walls as he goes deeper, my grip getting tighter, breaths becoming shorter. I can hear him groaning but all I can focus on is how incredibly and deliciously full I am.

  “Oh my God, Raid.” I can’t believe I even spoke, the moans spilling from my lips making it impossible to form thoughts or words.

  He slides in to the hilt and I nearly scream, his lips coming down to pepper hot kisses up my neck to my ear where he bites me.

  “Yes baby, say my name,” he whispers.

  I moan, I can’t help it. Hearing him makes me want to explode into a ball of flames. He pulls out, moving back in slowly, the ache fading and the slow build of another orgasm beckons. He starts moving faster, taking my hands in his and raising them over my head again. Pinning me down with his thrusts and killing me with pleasure. He uses his other hand to grasp my hip, starting to pick up his pace until he’s slamming into me. Our sweaty bodies slap against one another, tangled in ecstasy.

  “Oh Raid, I’m so close,” I get out in between moans, getting louder and louder with each thrust.

  “Come for me, Elli, come for me and only me,” he says in my ear. “Come now, baby, coat my cock.”

  Like a trigger point, I detonate, screaming his name and writhing beneath him while he pumps into me with even more force and passion. He yells out when I feel my pussy constrict around his big cock and he growls deeply when he comes, thrusting into me three more times, letting me milk every last drop.

  ~Raid~
/>   I’m still inside her and I don’t think I have ever seen her look more radiant. Her skin is slick with sweat and her hair is a tangled mess but she looks so unbelievably relaxed that it knocks the breath from my lungs.

  She lays there, still pulsing around my cock, making me want to take her all over again and has such a look of being totally sated and happy that I can barely stand it when I pull out.

  I leave her to flush the condom and bring a warm washcloth I snagged from her bathroom to clean her up. I make my way to her and she turns her head to watch me, then a better idea comes to me. I toss the washcloth when I reach the bed and her eyes question what I’m about to do.

  I scoop her up in my arms and carry her into her bathroom, pausing to flick on the shower, and then set her down on the counter. I wedge myself between her legs, my dick already wanting more and standing at attention, rubbing ever so softly against her pussy.

  She makes a low humming noise in the back of her throat, her eyes closing and letting herself feel. I shove my hands in her hair and tilt her head up so I can see her eyes. She opens them and looks right at me. Not a single shred of fear in her eyes.

  Not one doubt.

  Not one worry.

  Just her and I in this moment, no ghosts haunting us. This woman does something to me, the way her eyes are making me want to sit at her feet and worship her. The way her body fits perfectly against mine, the way I felt inside of her, stretching her and filling her up until I thought we both might pass out. I look down at her and feel things I never thought I would feel. Things that seemed crazy and outlandish to me only months ago.

  I press my lips against her forehead and she leans into me, her small hands landing on my hips. I take a deep breath, inhaling her scent and then I pick her up and she wraps her legs around my waist so I can take us into the shower. I set her down on her feet but only so I can lather every inch of her sacred body in soap, even washing her hair and massaging her muscles.

  She moans and wiggles beneath my hands but I just keep going. Not even bothering with myself. I rinse us both off and step out, grabbing two fluffy towels from the cabinet next to the shower. I towel dry her then spend extra time getting the water out of her hair, all the while knowing she’s watching my every move. I wrap one towel around my waist and hang up the other, wanting her naked.

  I pick her up again, just to carry her over to the bed. Her hair fans out over the pillow when I lay her down and all I can think is how beautiful she is, and unlike any woman I have ever had.

  “Elli, can I get something off my chest?”

  Her eyes flash with uncertainty and fear but then it’s replaced with compassion. “Of course, honey, anything.”

  I lay down next to her, draping my arm over her stomach and pulling her back to me. I bury my face in her neck and breathe her in again.

  “Sweet girl,” I start, “I never really have relationships.” I can hear her swallow. “What I mean is that I never stick around long enough, never had anyone who I wanted to wait for me through tours.” She swallows again and I hear her breathing change. “Don’t freak out, I just…” I stop, unsure of how to continue.

  “You just what, Raid?”

  I sigh, how do I even say this?

  “I just haven’t done this before, baby, this is all new to me. I’m navigating something I have never done before.”

  She turns so she can face me, placing a gentle hand on my cheek. “You honestly think I know what I’m doing, Raid?”

  I let out the breath I was holding.

  “This is all new to me too, I was obviously married before but this just isn’t the same as Garrett. This is all brand new and it’s scary.”

  My eyes flash with hurt and fear. I don’t want her to be scared, what if she gets scared and can’t do this? What if the pain is too much for her?

  “But,” she kisses my lips ever so softly, soothing away the fear, “scary is good, scary means I’m feeling, that I’m alive. You make me feel alive.”

  I don’t hold myself back any longer and kiss her with everything I have. Every doubt and insecurity for us, every bit of anger I have toward Garrett for leaving her and every ounce of thankfulness I feel for him leading her to me.

  ~Elli~

  “Jen, seriously I almost cried.”

  She’s already drained her glass and is pouring a second, I, on the other hand, don’t need wine to be drunk. I am still very drunk off Raiden.

  We’re sitting in her living room and the sun is setting, bathing the walls in oranges and pinks. It’s only been about twenty-four hours and Raid and I haven’t stopped texting once. He left after we ate greasy pizza in bed, naked, I might add. Then he kissed me stupid and promised to come see me when he was done with work.

  Work, that scares me.

  I don’t want anything to happen to him that would affect him like it did Garrett. But he assured me that as long as he is on American soil I have nothing to worry about and I have to believe him. Plus, I know he misses Weston when he doesn’t see him. I can just tell from all the stories he brought up when we were together in bed, learning about one another.

  “So it was really that big, like you’re not just exaggerating?” Jen has her eyebrows raised and I can tell she doesn’t believe Raiden was the biggest ever, and honestly the most intense intimate sex I had ever had. Which makes my heart ache a little, something I will just have to get used to, knowing this is so much different than my marriage.

  “Jennifer, I am not lying. Look at me! I can barely sit down comfortably!” I gesture to my lady business and she busts out laughing. I throw a pillow at her but she dodges it and sips from her glass.

  “Elli, you are too much. I truly thought you were going to punch me when I walked in on you two!” She starts laughing again and I join in because she’s totally right, I almost did.

  “Yeah well, you’re lucky you’re my best friend.”

  She looks at me pointedly then melts into a smile, “Yeah I am lucky.”

  I look down at my hands, clutching the wine glass. It probably wasn’t easy for Jen to sit back and watch me wallow after Garrett died. I think that I was just so busy living in my own hell that I forgot I had people there to support and love me. Maybe if I would have listened to her sooner I could have started moving on and forgiving him…

  “Babe, I am really, really from the depths of my soul, sorry I pushed you away when I was hurting.” I look up at her and feel the tears threatening from the corners of my vision. “I…I honestly think I was at the point where I didn’t want to go on any longer when you forced me into messaging a soldier. I don’t know if you realize this, but I think you saved me.” I let the tears fall and I can tell she’s about to cry too and she leans over pulling me into a hug, careful not to spill the wine.

  “E, you are more than my bestie, you are without a doubt, the closest thing to a sister I will ever have. I love you so much, girl.” I hug her tight and laugh at how weepy we both are. “I have to get real with you here though.”

  I lean back and look at her, “Yeah?”

  She nods and takes a sip of wine. “I pushed you into messaging someone to try and get you to move on, but I could have never imagined that would result in you falling tits over ass.”

  She sips again and eyes me. I know my eyes are huge and I let out a huge snort.

  “Jen, this isn’t…I don’t think that…” I just sit there letting her words sink in.

  Do I love Raiden?

  Am I ready to love someone again?

  Is there enough love even left after Garrett?

  Jen must be reading my thoughts because she says very quietly, “I know you’re going to fight this sweetie, you are going to resist until you’re blue in the face.” I look up at her and urge her with my eyes to keep going. “That’s okay, for right now. But he’s going to realize he feels the same way and you’re going to need to be open to what comes after. Don’t close your heart up Elli, you have so much love and light in you to give, don’t forget th
at.” She drops that word bomb on me and just gets up and casually walks into the kitchen. Giving me space enough to digest everything, she really is my best friend.

  ~Raiden~

  It’s been a week and I’ve been so busy I haven’t been able to go see my sweet girl. It kills me just having had her and now being so far away. I guess I’m being dramatic because until about a month ago I was oceans away from her but now that I’ve been inside her… something in me has changed. I can’t stop thinking about her, I can’t stop wanting to touch her skin, taste her, feel her. It’s such a sweet addiction. I’m lost thinking about Elli when Weston snaps his fingers in my face, breaking me from my haze.

  “Earth to Raiden, hello?”

  I shake my head and swat at his hand still hanging there in front of me.

  “Sorry man, just got distracted.”

  He motions with his head to a trail that runs the perimeter of the base and I nod. Running would probably do me some good. I haven’t been able to gain any traction with my superiors on getting out of the Corp and it’s eating at me. Weston seems to know exactly what I need to get all my frustration out. We run for a mile and a half before Weston spoke.

  “Raiden, brother can I talk to you about something?”

  I slow down to a walk and he does too.

  “Yeah man, anything.” I give him my full attention.

  “Remember on tour when I was having those nightmares?” I nod, wiping the sweat from my forehead. “I keep having them.”

  I stop and turn to face him. Now that I am actually paying attention and really looking at my best friend, I can see he has dark circles under his eyes. His stubble is longer than he normally keeps it and he just looks worn out.

  “What are they about, man?” I had all but forgot about his nightmares until now, I had been so wrapped up in my own world I forgot just how worried I was about him when we were in the desert.

  He looks at me and sighs, “Death, I just see all the death.”